Running on Fumes

THE MUSING

This has been a bad week. I have spent most of it down. There are a bunch of presidential biopics on PBS on demand. I watched them from bed, knitting when I was up to it. Reviewing a lifetime of politics distracts a bit from guilt and fear. We still don't know about disability payments. If it doesn't come through, my paycheck and our insurance ends when August does. I keep suppressing thoughts about the beginning of It's a Wonderful Life.

But the week started great. On Sunday my son spoke in church about his mission. I hosted and fed people afterward. Even though my family, and even some of my guests, did more work than I did, I wore myself out.

I made it with the help of the same chemical cocktail that got me through so many days of teaching: morphine, caffeine, and adrenaline. The morphine probably does the least. I take Tramadol, which is weak enough that you don't hear many addiction stories about it. (The fact that it is weak enough not to do much for pain may account for that too.) On top of that, I took two Excedrin. I'm not a daily caffeine user, so the effect is powerful. So is the adrenaline social anxiety produces. I was up and social from noon until five or six and didn't start to feel the pain until I sat down in the evening.

It was worth it. I enjoyed my son's talk and seeing him reunite with friends. It was fun chatting with my friends and family as well.

But there is always a price. One active day has cost me a week so far. I haven't travelled too far from my bedroom.

My initial thought for today's blog was to write about getting outside more, but I didn't. And although I knit, I didn't finish much and really am not up to dragging around equipment to take pictures. I'm hoping to write a good entry about sitting in the garden watching the weeds grow next week.

THE KNITTING

This spring I went on a shopping spree for yarn and patterns. I picked up a couple that would be perfect for summer family birthdays. Those birthdays are long past, but I've finally attempted one of the patterns. I have finished it in lavender homespun, knit quite a bit in green and purple silk, and next week will probably get to the jewel-toned cashmere blend I initially bought .

This pattern is called "Dragonfly" and has a dragonfly pattern in the lace work. I remembered about it when I paused to look at an orange dragonfly perched on a stalk in my heat-burned flower garden. one version of this shawl will become a Christmas present, but by next week, the other two should be listed in my shop.